Immortal Beethoven

ALARMED BY STRANGE NOISES EMANATING FROM THE TOMB OF COMPOSER LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN, THE CARETAKER SUMMONED TOWN AUTHORITIES.
Identifying the noises as music, and just as perplexed as the caretaker, the authorities sent an emissary to the nearby university with a request for a musicologist to come help solve the mystery. Upon arriving on the scene and listening to the musical sounds emanating from the tomb, the musicologist merely smiled and asked: “Can it be that you gentlemen do not perceive what you are hearing?” They answered in the negative. You are hearing one long note followed by three short ones - daaahhh, dot-dot-dot,” the musicologist continued. “Correct?” They agreed that this is what they were hearing. “And what is the theme from Beethoven’s most famous symphony, the Fifth?” the musicologist asked, following immediately with the answer to his own question: “Three short notes followed by a long one. Dot-dot-dot daaahhh. But now you are hearing the reverse. Daaahhh, dot-dot-dot. Well, then, gentlemen, it should be obvious to you: What you are hearing is Beethoven decomposing!”

Origin of 'gay' for homosexual

It was once in the saddle I used to go dashing;

it was once in the saddle I used to go gay.

- The Cowboy's Lament

Did you ever wonder why the Mass Miscommunications Media (MMM) consistently uses the term "gay" in lieu of homosexual? I take you back to San Francisco in the 1950's when there was persecution of homosexuals (yes, there was, even in San Francisco). One of the ways that organized homosexuals decided to take revenge was to prank society by generating the term "gay" as the substitute for homosexuals, thus establishing themselves as the cheerful people vis a vis drab heterosexuals. Until they changed it from an adjective or adverb to a noun, "gay" meant "having or showing a joyous mood" (Random House Dictionary of the English Language).

It happened this way: The leaders of homosexual organizations such as the Tavern Guild asked editors of the daily newspapers to initiate use of "gay" so that men oriented sexually toward other men would not be identified solely by that characteristic. Well, editors in San Francisco being the good liberal men and women that they are, and being opposed to the discrimination against homosexuals which still existed at the time, fell for the prank. Since the MMM consists principally of conformist copycats, the monkey see-monkey do syndrome which infests the MMM took hold and spread across the nation and then across the oceans.

I attribute the success of the prank to José more than anyone else. He was a diminutive, extremely effeminate, popular performer in drag who reigned for some time as "Empress of San Francisco" and who lit up any kind of gathering with his infectious sense of humor. He boasted to me one day: "By flaunting what I am successfully on stage before large audiences, and by inducing the media to change the way we homos are described, I have worked my revenge on society for the persecution of us." He cut loose with a big belly laugh as he gloated over his form of revenge, achieved through a MMM notorious for ridiculous terminology: "African-American," a combination geographical description converted into a "race"; Arab Muslims living in the Gaza Strip and West Bank, a small portion of the region once known as Palestine that included Israel, identified as "Palestinians" to the exclusion of Israelis who would have to be included in that term if there actually were any Palestinians today; genocide bombers called "suicide bombers"; etc. etc. As the familiar saying goes, once the people working in the MMM begin using such nonsensical terms, they "take on a life of their own."

How to compete with the slave labor countries

Unless you never read the parts of the periodicals and view the programs on tv that deal with the socio-economic problems of the times, you know that a major factor crippling American families is the growth of corporate "outsourcing" of jobs to countries where the current era equivalent of slave labor exists. That factor has resulted in job layoffs for millions of Americans. How do you stop it? One way is to slap taxes on any goods and services emanating from the countries where there is slave labor. But I have a better idea: cooperatives run by the members of them in partnership with the U.S. Government. They could be established as non-profit. There would be no stocks, hence no triple tiering of profits that characterizes the corporate structure. The cost of goods and services obtained from such cooperatives could be kept low enough to compete with those emanating from the slave labor-using countries. It is worth a try, no?

Tumors await cell phone users

Regular use of mobile telephones increases the risk of developing tumors, according to the findings of Israeli scientists published in the American Journal of Epidemiology. Among other scary results of their study is their conclusion that the risk of developing a parotid gland tumor is nearly 50 percent higher for frequent mobile phone users than for other users ("frequent" meaning those who talk on cell phones more than 22 hours a month). The risk was still higher if users clamped the phone to the same ear, did not use hands-free devices, or were in "rural areas." The study included 402 benign and 58 malignant incident cases of parotid gland tumors diagnosed in Israelis age 18 years or more. The research was led by Dr Siegal Sadetzki, a cancer and radiation expert at the Chaim Sheba Medical Centre in Israel, as part of a World Health Organization project.

Why parents worry about internet chats

Hi! You sound kinda cute. How old are you and what do you do after school?



I am fourteen and a fitness buff. After school I work out in a gym.

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Heavenly short change

Grandma and the grandson she doted on were walking on the water's edge at the beach when, without warning, a huge wave rolled in and, on receding, carried the child into the sea. Horrified, but unable even to see her grandson much less rescue him, the old woman decided there was nothing left to do but pray. Falling to her knees, Grandma raised her eyes and arms to the heavens and pleaded: "Oh, Lord, please cause the sea to carry my grandson back to the shore and to me, alive and unharmed." As though by divine intervention, that is what happened. Another wave propelled the child to his grandmother's feet, and though he was stunned, he was unharmed. Nevertheless, after examining her grandson, the old woman became angry and began berating the deity. "Thank you for bringing my grandson back to me!" she shouted. "But damn it, Lord, when we came here he was wearing a hat!"

The Pope is the problem

This morning the daily newspapers are carrying a world peace and cooperation message from the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, urging all nations to unite to solve the global financial crisis. As usual, this purportedly "infallible" man misses the critical issues, and the problem is that the Pope himself is the problem. He is a world leader in belief that there actually was a "Jesus Christ" (Yeshua mashia) who was on earth to save humanity from "original sin," that "God" (Yahweh) created everything and created "man" in "his" (God's) "own image" out of dust, that curbing cancerous population growth is a sin against "God," that certain aspects of scientific research are "evil" and even murder, that capitalist enterprises based on billions of dollars in credit and interest are appropriate and a legitimate part of the Catholic Church's functioning, and that resolving the global financial crisis by more money manipulation is perfectly appropriate.

Here is what is wrong with all of that. If you want world peace, if you want to solve the global financial crisis, you have to initiate drastic measures to curb overpopulation, change the worldwide inequality in wealth, and make money represent the human, natural, and technological resources available. As is, overpopulation is demolishing all other efforts to end humanity's destruction of the world environment - for, in keeping with the onetime slogan of Planned Parenthood, "without population control all other causes are lost." As is, the rich keep getting richer while the poor keep getting poorer, and that is one of the major causes of crime, violence, and warfare - for, as Plato wisely said, poverty is the mother of crime. And, as is, money no longer truly represents anything. It is a thing in itself that is used to make money off the money itself. There lies the fundamental reason for the global financial crisis. The crisis will not be resolved, but only will become worse, until money is made to represent the human, natural, and technological resources available. Aristotle told us centuries ago that the most unnatural, unproductive, destructive invention of humanity is credit, or interest. The world is learning now that humanity cannot exist on paper or plastic. Money has become humanity's albatross. Instead of asking what can be accomplished through human, natural, and technological resources available, the question is always: How much money is available to do the job? Thus, money becomes the controlling element. IT controls what is to be done. That is the insanity which prevails. And yet anybody who dares talk about it at its roots is viewed as some sort of crackpot. But it is making money the arbiter for what can be done, it is making money off money, which is the real craziness, the cancer that is eroding us collectively. Until the problem is addressed at its roots, no amount of paper and plastic tossed into the mix - now in the many trillions, figures nobody can even understand - will resolve the problems. Edward Bellamy told us, in Looking Backward and other writings, that money has to be scrapped and an entirely new means of conducting human activity has to be invented, in order to bring an end once and for all to the cycles of prosperity and recession or depression. The tenets of the bible that the Pope pretends to follow include the oft-misquoted dictum "the love of money is the root of all evils" (1 Timothy 6:10). It remains for the media and political leaders to begin addressing humanity's problems in such terms instead of via the surface, so-called "solutions" being offered: "solutions" that are destined to resolve nothing.

Headlines from the year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

Mexifornia, formally known as California, becomes state's official name.

White minorities strive to have English recognized as Mexifornia's official second language.

Baby conceived naturally, stumping scientists.

Iran has six thermonuclear bombs - UN and U.S. continue to impose sanctions.

Castro finally dies at age 112 - Cuban cigars can now be imported legally.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89, reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese create camera with shutter speed so fast it catches politicians, lawyers with mouth shut.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Time for a new Works Project Administration

During a tv interview, noting that "Obama" had expressed admiration for Franklin D. Roosevelt, the interviewer asked "Obama" whether or not the incoming president would make use of some of the methods FDR initiated to lift the nation out of the Great Depression of the early 1930's. "Obama" replied that these are new times with different problems than those which existed before, and therefore a new methodology is in order. That was the wrong answer.

As in the Great Depression, one of the major problems is that the private sector is laying off workers instead of creating jobs. FDR decided that since the private sector was not creating jobs, the public sector should do so. Therefore, the Works Project Administration (WPA) was created to put people to work. That enabled them to earn enough money not only for housing and food, but also for a variety of goods, services, and entertainment. It was a significant factor in the economic revival. There is no reason why what worked before should not be reinstituted. These are new times, but the fundamental part of the present recession that could be called a kind of depression remains the same as in the early 1930's: the private sector has failed, resulting in massive loss of jobs. The WPA was used successfully to make up for jobs lost in the private sector by employing people through the public sector. There is no reason why a new WPA will not work now. "Obama" should go for it and stop equivocating. [For an explanation of why I place the name "Obama" in quotation marks, see the article in "Older Posts" titled "Obama - not black, not African-American."]

'Buy more cars' is the wrong answer

Politicians and business moguls [one and the same in my view] are telling us to go out and buy more cars, and they are advocating more debt for people to get into for that purpose, all so as to "get the economy moving." Well, it might move the economy, but it will prevent the motorists who go into debt to buy the cars from moving on roads that are already jammed to capacity. A better idea is to use the money for new mass transit systems that are flexible, but not for more trains or subways that can only operate on a fixed route. The technology exists for revolutionary mass transit systems that provide a variety of routes, and advocates for use of that technology arose way back in the 1960's. But politicians and business moguls, stuck in outmoded thinking and motivated by money ueber alles, cannot be moved - like the millions of more cars they want to put on the roads. If humanity survives, which I doubt, future human beings may wonder how human beings so advanced in technology could be so backward in their thinking.

The unemployment figures are bogus

When you read Mass Miscommunications Media stories containing unemployment statistics, you should immediately triple the figures at the least. If they tell you that the unemployment rate is six percent, make it at least 18 percent. An un-American periodical exposed the fraud entailed in U.S. Government statistics around 50 years ago. The author of the article in the un-American periodical explained that the reasons for the statistics being much lower than the reality of the situation include the omission of millions of Americans who have stopped looking for work because the search is futile. They are not included in the statistics. The name of the un-American periodical? The Reader's Digest.

Nationalize the banks

As part of the so-called "bailout," the first step has been taken toward nationalizing the banks, a proposal I introduced 48 years ago in The Californian. More than $200 billion of the taxpayers' money has been invested as shares in big banks. The heads of those banks have stated for publication and in tv interviews that the U.S. Government's investment is temporary and will be returned once the financial situation is stabilized, so that the banking industry once again will be privatized. If only the Mass Miscommunications Media (MMM) would educate the public in a simple principle, that the money deposited in banks belongs to the people who put it there and not to the banks, maybe an understanding would take hold leading to the notion that the citizens of the U.S. should collectively own the banks. That would free the banks from the present triple tiering of profits on shares that play a huge part in the present financial mess. Nationalized, the banks could offer loans of all kinds at very low interest rates, maybe as low as one or two percent, since the banks would be non-profit institutions. Also, Americans collectively would be free from control of their banks by foreign interests. The anti-socialism bugaboo that plagues the nation would be vaporized as awareness kicked in that there could hardly be any greater boon to American free enterprise than availability of loans at low interest rates.

Wealthy investors will gain from the 'crisis'

Here we go again. Every time a financial "crisis" is created and small investors panic, wealthy investors reap a fortune by buying the shares that are dumped onto the market by everyone who is not rich and is fearful of losing too much money by holding on.The wealthy can afford to take the chance that the market will be rebound and the shares they bought at bargain basement prices eventually will be worth much more.

If you are thinking to yourself that it is not a chance that the wealthy take, but rather a situation which they generated for the purpose of being able to buy cheap stock, know that your thinking is shared by many individuals on the basis of past history. I reached the same conclusion as to past financial downturns, but not as to this one. In any event, it makes no difference whether or not the present "crisis" was deliberately generated. The end result will be the same: the rich will get richer, and the less than rich will become still less rich. That is the dance.